Most of us believe that we are driving our relationships in the best way possible. It is beautiful to feel so but unconsciously, we might be taking the relationship down the hill. Are there a number of fights?
Does your sex life have lost its spark or if the fights are intense? We understand that such issues are common and may even be natural in relationships but if they persist for long, it’s not a great sign.
A licensed therapist, Rachine R. Henry, states that “Couples therapy is a good choice for a couple whenever they feel like they are stuck and can’t figure out a realistic solution.”
Although it is always suggested that couples must look for couple therapists in order to rekindle the lost love but the other side exclaims pricey and time consuming nature of therapies. Even if you are not able to visit a therapist in-person or online counseling, famous couple therapists have dropped in some tips so that you can maintain love and care for each other in the healthiest way.
Relationship hacks are meant to teach you:
- Why you two are together and what is that keeps you together
- Understand the reasons of conflict within
- How can you maintain your behavior and communication pattern together
- Major stressors of relationship and ways to tackle them
As spoken by Vienna Pharaoh, “Behind every great relationship are difficult and uncomfortable conversations we rarely get to see. Great relationships do not just fall into our lap. They require people to move through fears and insecurities and do the hard work to move wounds into healings.”
So what are the relationship hacks that couple therapists provide and you can follow for a stronger bond? Let’s find them out.
Relationship Hacks By Couple Therapists
1. Embrace That You Are Different
If the opposites attract then embracing the differences is one of the primary roles. It is because as time passes, we often look for the reason for even being together. You may even start to feel that differences become a source of problem but the truth is that opposites attract for a better relationship.
Even the psychotherapists recommend that kids of two opposite partners have complementary strengths and better probability of surviving. Learn from each other and grow together.
2. Instead Of Assuming, Talk It Out
Have you ever confronted your partner with the assumptions and they turned out to be false? We are sure that it must have happened with all of us because the truth is that nine times out of ten, we are wrong. However, it is always recommended to communicate your thoughts, desires and feelings to your partner rather than making perceptions inside the head.
Assumptions let us jump to the conclusion but if you talk face to face, multiple questions are cleared out and truths are well-confirmed.
3. Focus On Problems That Come Back Again
Some issues pop up again and again. Whether it’s the forgetting to bring groceries from the store or issues that show up because of in-laws, it’s time to heal the problem. Many couples unconsciously repeat the same pattern and send painful messages to each other. Therapists recommend you to be conscious of your relationship with each other and make good decisions together, concerning each others’ best interests.
4. Work On Closeness & Intimacy Together
Closeness and Intimacy are two different terms where closeness describes comfort which keeps you calm and happy in each other’s company.
At the same time, intimacy is defined as creating newness, spontaneity and taking risks. It is required that both closeness and intimacy maintains a balance between the two of you. It is because a mix of both connects not only your physical body but also mental strengths and thoughts altogether.
5. Arguments Are A Sign Of Healthy Relationship
Don’t underestimate the power of healthy arguing, thinking that it doesn’t work with you. Couple therapists say that arguing makes you agree or disagree but it also allows you to hash things bothering inside your mind.
However, both individuals must keep in mind that arguments are done in a controlled manner where emotions are also checked. Make sure that you think before speaking and don;t completely invalidate the feelings of your partner. Moreover, arguing also doesn’t need to be a winning game but discussion to solve the problem.
6. Bring The Dating Phase Back
As you walk together on a long term path, it is common to move past things that you used to do for each other while dating. Couple therapists suggest you recall all the love budding activities and act upon them once again. Hence, dress up for each other, get some roses, go on a date and bring back the spark together.
7. Upset? Take Some Time To Cool Off
The concept of ‘Don’t go to bed angry’ may seem diluted here but it’s for the goodness of relationship. If there has been a serious fight and any of you doesn’t want to open the wraps immediately, let it be there for sometime. Couple therapist, Andrerson, says that ‘The more you talk about infuriating topics, the more upset you get.’
Hence, let your partner cool themselves down and make a repair in the relationship. Once you start the conversation again, strat with smaller phrases and shorter bites.
8. Take Turns In Initiating Sex
It happens that one person is more sexual than the other but their partner has to be careful in initiating sex too. If not then the person who initiates sex feels weak and defeated while the other feels that they have all the power to attract other. Such imbalance can cause emotional, physical and mental barriers amidst each other and must be kept inlined.
9. Take Financial Decisions In Advance
Planning to move in together, propose or getting married soon? Remember that finances become a major reason for disputes amongst many couples. Couple therapists always want you to keep the finance rulebook between the two of you so that financial security is maintained.
Whether you want to travel across Europe or purchase a new home, you both have to decide the financial plans according to your pockets.
10. Relationship Constitution
Of course, there is nothing called a relationship constitution for the world but this constitution is meant for you two. It contains shared responsibilities and goals on which both work together. The list can include career plans, family goals, finances and shared discipline. If you focus on 5 individual goals and share them, It helps you to be on the same page with each other.
| Cannot find a solution to save your relationship?
We understand that despite learning about relationship hacks by couple therapists, couples can still fall into the pit of failure. If you are facing the same in your relationship, ask for help from a relationship counselor or couple therapist.
Grow Together, Love Each Other!
Long term relationships are a way to grow and change. But this change is a beautiful process! You will face many challenges, ups and downs but swimming in this beautiful ocean together is just the right way of loving each other. Show some patience with each other and take things ahead nicely.
Remember, little things matter with each other and hence supporting them is the perfect way to dance on tunes of our lives.